My friend Mary is designing a “Puffer” tatoo for me. She is a true artist and I am so excited she is generously doing this for me.
Mary
I am doing terrific! I had an experience this weekend in the middle of the night where I awakened to this incredible sense of well-being and good health. I had this intense awareness of my body and no pain, no dis-comfort, just this quiet, calm solidness. I turned over back to side, thinking, wow, I am truly healing and I feel better. I have conquered this first phase and I had this knowing that I am in good health and will stay so until my second phase in October. I was in peace and was okay if it did not go well with the pull down surgery, that I could in fact live with the illeostomy bag. It would be okay and I would cope just fine. For something that was initially so frightening I am relieved to finally find peace. I could not have done this without the love and support of my friends and family. The Internet has been such a rich source to new friends and connections.
There are so many things I want to do now that I am better. We just had our house painted. (I know, pictures! I must post them. Perhaps I should buy myself a little digital camera. I rely on my husband and my daughter to take photos, but they are always off working or at school. ) The house looks immensely improved and the aubergine/turquoise color is quite beautiful, but it needs landscaping! Ah, just more opportunity for creativity and fun.
I had two new experiences with Puffer this week. Thursday evening was the fourth or fifth day of terribly hot weather and in the early evening I finally worked up the courage to go for my first swim with Puffer and bag. Leslie had shopped with me recently to purchase a modest two piece (tummy covered) suit. I put it on, check my bag for flat, empty and well secured. I drove to the nice cool lake just before sunset. The beach faces West so the sun was warm and directly bathing my skin. The water was the perfect temperature. I truly adore swimming in the lake. I paddled around a bit, did the side stroke, then the breast stroke then a bit of the crawl. It felt so amazing to move my muscles and stretch and have the water hold me up. My abdominal muscles were just a little on the weak side and I only stayed in about ten minutes. It was perfect just to test things out. I got out, sat in the sun and called my dad and then my mom to chat and tell them what I was up to. After, I drove home and took a very long, extremely hot shower.
The next day, Friday morning at work Puffer leaked all over on the inside of my over-long sports bra and panties as I sat at my desk working. Ugh! I was unprepared for this and had to jump on the bus to go home. Fortunately my bus ride is only ten minutes long. However, it was so unnerving I did not go back after I changed the bandage and everything else.
The next weekend I spent the night at my sister-in-law’s home on Whidbey Island. Still incredibly hot and she invited me over for a swim, dinner and shopping. We had a terrific time. For supper, we indulged in pizza, salad and icey cold beer. In the early morning I wake up to pee and my bag was full really puffing up like a a balloon. Apparently, from the beer? Odd, it had not done this before. Sleepily I sit on the toilet which is smaller than ours at home, unwrap the bottom of the bag and POOF! Sh*)&% explodes everywhere! Wow, did I WAKE UP! It was so stunning that this happened. At first I didn’t know what to do. I got into the shower, fortunately right next to the toilet and also where the majority of the stuff went. I scrubbed myself with soap, then all the walls, floor, and toielet with Lysol spray. I ended up back in bed, fresh and clean in a little less then an hour. It was amazing and I didn’t even cry. Fortunately, I had read many of the “emabarrasing moments” in the J-Pouch group and so I was somewhat emotionally prepared for mishaps like this. Thank you to all you j-pouchers for sharing your stories.
Oh, and this morning, while changing my bandage, again as it leaked during the night (guess I haven’t got it down quit yet), a piece of plastic spit out from my stoma. Is that odd or what? It was about an inch long and very narrow. I saw something white on the tip of the stoma and I grabbed it and gently pulled it out. I am wondering if I ate something or was this left over from surgery? Very odd…
